Teen Mum v Thirty Something

 

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Me and my boy, all grown up

Stereotype – if you look up this word in the dictionary you will see a photo of me, well many years ago anyway. An intelligent and friendly girl, top sets for most subjects, 3 years into senior school, I found boys, popularity and became bored with school. At the age of 17 I had my little boy Liam and I was living on my own in a tiny little council house with quite frankly, rubbish GCSE’s.

I loved being pregnant, I also loved being a mum. One thing I realised quite quickly was I didn’t want this life for my son or for me, waiting each week for the ‘dole’ cheque to be posted. So I did something about it and applied for an apprenticeship and started fairly soon after.

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My desire to succeed and want to learn more was quickly noticed and I was offered a job as a receptionist and then promoted to Sales Secretary. At the age of 19 I applied for my first mortgage (at a time when 100% mortgages were possible!) and me and my gorgeous little boy moved into our own house, it was such a proud moment for me, i’d done it on my own, little old me.

My baby boy

My baby boy

I worked full time and Liam was in childcare, i also studied part time at college. He was such a happy little boy, well behaved, and very social. I think I was probably quite a strict mum following routines, but I had to be as there was only me. As a result Liam always went to bed at 7pm and I think that’s why he’s so well behaved. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not raising an angel!
Liam drank formula milk and ate a lot of baby food from a jar. I had no idea about healthy eating or the benefits of breastfeeding, I was probably horrified of the thought! But he was healthy and happy and developing well, he could say the full alphabet by the age of 2, he was so clever.

Any spare money i had was spent on clothes or toys for Liam, i started Christmas shopping half way through the year, so i could make sure i could shower him with gifts.

My 2 men

My 2 men, Sunset Strip, Ibiza, about to watch Fatboy Slim perform

At the age of 32 i became pregnant again, i wasn’t sure if i would have any more kids as i had never been the most maternal of people, but getting a little older i felt like i wanted to be a mum again and my partner, although he took on the role of daddy to Liam at the age of 9, didn’t have any of his own.

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Being pregnant this time round, although i still loved being pregnant, there was such worry and anxiousness, although justified when she came 11 weeks early.

My outlook with Freya compared to Liam is very different, i won’t lie, she is very spoilt with affection and time , Liam was in childcare all week every week, Freya is only there 2 days per week. Freya does have her bedtime routine which we stick to religiously, i’m all about the routines! Being a little older I am a lot more clued up on eating healthy and looking at what is in food and what foods to include in her diet and making sure it’s not all processed and there’s plenty of homemade.

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Liam received sweets as treats all of the time, and as a young mum i thought i was just being nice, not thinking of the damage on his little teeth. Freya isn’t even allowed fruit juice, although she is given the odd sweet treat and I won’t lie, she does loves skip crisps.
Freya has a variety of fruit and veg every day and there was no hesitation in breast feeding Freya.

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Looking back I loved my gorgeous boy enough for a mum and dad, he always had a smile on his face and we’ll share a bond that’s always special, he’s been with me through everything. Liam is predicted A’s and A*’s in his GCSE’s, he is a popular, friendly teenager, is part of a football team and he absolutely adores his little sister.

My Two Babies

My Two Babies

As an older mum i feel a lot more maternal and have a lot more patience, i miss the naivety of being a teenage mum as worry is my middle name now and it can take over sometimes. I also love being a young mum that Liam can relate too, i wont lie, i’m not looking forward to being 50 when Freya turns 18!

Teen mum’s do get a lot of stick, sometimes it’s not always justified. I’ve always had this desire to succeed and achieve, spurred on by having my baby boy at 17 and wanting to give him the best of everything. As a result i studied at college part time for around 8 years, as well as working full time and being a single mum, achieving a 2:1 in my Business Degree and achieving a PGCE so i could Lecture in colleges and of course, i now have my little business Freya Lillie.

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If i had said to someone 15 year ago sat in my little council house that one day i would have my own business, i would be lecturing in college with a few qualifications under my belt, they probably would have thought i was dreaming and i would have agreed. My point is that i had a dream, i was willing to put in the effort and work and knew it would take time, and that dream is now my reality.

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Would i do it different if i could do it all again…probably not, i can honestly say, although it’s hard work sometimes, i love my life and the journey i have been on and i can’t wait for the next chapter. Anything is possible, just believe in yourself and work, work, work!

www.facebook.com/freyalillie

3 Comments

  1. Love this post a true testament to how hard work, determination and the desire to succeed can enable you to achieve your dreams! It’s great to see other working mams fulfilling career and family aspirations it’s exhausting but doable !! Xxx

  2. I enjoyed reading your story!

    You have achieved so much and should be very proud. I did my business degree as a youngster and I’m having to relearn such a lot after talking time out and it’s so much harder teaching an old dog new tricks!

    I have to say … as a MUCH older (even than you, lol) mum who volunteers in the community by running a playgroup twice a week … young mums are just as capable and I have learned just as much from my young mummy friends as I have the older set!

    The one big positive in being older is financial security. The one big positive in being younger … energy! Swings and roundabouts x

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